Happy Friday!
I start today's blog entry off by saying THANK YOU to those of you who have commented on my first blog. Your encouraging words and the out pouring of care really have touched my heart.
So you read the title to this entry and your saying to yourself "what does he mean by that?"! Well, I will share with you what I mean...
You see, I have never in my life sat down and wrote(or typed) my feelings, what I am thinking, etc.. I always thought about doing it, but thought, "for what, what good is it going to do me?". Ha, I wish now that I had done this a long time ago!!
When I sat down yesterday with the mind set that I was sharing with people all over the world, and praying that by blogging my journey, that I would reach at least one person somewhere, whether they battle obesity and the addiction to food, or even alcohol, drugs, shopping, YES ladies, I said it, SHOPPING!! LOL!!
But as I began to type, and let me tell you, I truly feel that I was being obedient to God, because I began to type and I couldn't stop, the words from deep deep within me began to flow...
and then......here it goes......the answer to your question...... I then sat back and began to read what I had typed... and the healing process began to take place, Thank you Jesus!!
You see, by me writing what I had felt for so long, and then reading it back to myself, I was able to let God work in my heart, my body, work in my spirit and work deep within my soul. See, I have never really let the healing process begin. Yes, I have let it touch the surface, but I never really let God get down right deep within and cleanse the hurt, the pain and the guilt.
YES, I have alot of guilt, and you may ask why?. Well the guilt comes from the fact that I have allowed myself to become this 400lb man. That I didn't take heed too so many warning signs that my life was heading into a spiralling down hill hurl. And maybe I shouldn't say LIFE, but I should focus on the true problem which is my HEALTH, because LIFE is GOOD! God has blessed me with wonderful family members and the best of friends that any man could have, a good paying job and so on and so forth. So by putting my thoughts and my feelings into words, I was able to reflect on so many things that I have refused to deal with, and so MY OWN LITTLE THERAPY SESSION began!!
One thing that I will admit today, and I am admitting this to myself, because I have to take responsibility for my own actions...
So, I am admitting that I am, have always been and will always be a caregiver for others. My therapy starts with this, I have to tell myself that it's ok to care for other's, BUT, here it is....I HAVE TO NOW START CARING FOR NUMERO UNO!! Yup, that means ME!! So, when you see that I am not taking care of myself FIRST, Please stop me and remind me that I am #1 in my life, and if I don't take care of me first, then I won't be able to take care of other's!!
My wonderful friend Robyn will tell you that I PREACH those words all the time(YOU are #1 in your life), but guess what, I have FAILED to walk the talk!!
I take this time today to reflect on how WONDERFUL each of you are to me and how FANTASTIC God is! I pray that each of you who read this entry be blessed today, stay focused on your journey and choose your battles wisely, choose those battles that you have no doubt in your mind that with the help of God you will be a WINNER!!
Much love to you all and have a GREAT DAY!
NAS - Jeremiah 33:6 "Behold, I will bring to it health and healing, and I will heal them; and I will reveal to them an abundance of peace and truth."
God speed!
Tony
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5 comments:
Wow Tony, this is the first time I've read your blog. I have kept personal journals for years, and totally believe it to be therapeutic. I am inspired by you to start online blogging again. I am praying for you, my brother and plan to be a source of encouragement to you, as you are to so many people. Blessings to you on your journey.
Dude, God is good and therapy is wonderful isn't it? Keep tapping the keys because your breakthrough is on it's way. Love you =)
Tony I love you so so so so so very much!!! You are the one of the best cousins I could ever have. I am grateful to have such a caring family member. You have such a HUGE heart and find time to love all of us and give advice or help us through whatever it is we are going through. You are soooooo blessed and God will continue to bless you on your life's journey. Continue to take care of you!!
Tony, thanks for sharing the posts with us. I can honestly say, you are one of the most genuine, caring, and loving people that I have been privileged to meet. You have the biggest heart and I know you will overcome this. We are praying for you and Victory is on the way in Jesus name! Keep up the good work buddy!!
We are rooting for you.
Blessings,
Ben
PS thank you so much for your thoughtfulness and prayers. Lukey is cancer free.
Anything you need just ask. The Buck family is across the street for you.
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